What Older Parents Really Want From Their Adult Children

Respect Your Elders

In a study published in Research on Aging, two professors from the State University of New York at Albany explore this question through focus groups of older adults. Among their findings:

"We found that help from children was in many ways resisted and certainly viewed as a mixed blessing. An overarching theme expressed by our participants was a desire to be independent coupled with a potentially conflicting desire for connection to children. In fact, independence was our most frequent code.”

Be Their Partner

Parents want to take care of themselves, their own needs, and their own health and prefer not to view themselves as needing help. Yet they also hope that their children’s help will be available if they need it.

So how do you find a balance between caring and controlling, between partnering and providing?